i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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