...so i touched it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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