i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
