$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
another moral hangover. fuck.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
