you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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