Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
