And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
