i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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