youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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