put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
