do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
