I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
