It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
