I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
