When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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