Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
