There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
