For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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