All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
