Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
