this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
