Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
