Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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