That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
