Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
