in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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