you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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