Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
