ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
