Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
