Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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