I'm going to jail i love you
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
