I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
