singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
