What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
