She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
