wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Shame - the story of my life.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
