Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
