If that was your dad, he is hot
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Rumble strips road head = magical
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
