Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
