Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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