I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
