Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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