um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
