i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
