Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
