sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dick very happy bro
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
