Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
