jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
