I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
