He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
