1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
