Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
