Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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